We Are Harder on Ourselves, Than We Are Others

At the end of last year I got quite sick, it completely broke me. It broke me away from the idea I had of myself, the path I imagined I would live. It showed me I was both vulnerable and strong. However, in the moment of being vulnerable, I felt so much anger, hate, and embarrassment towards myself. When I read a journal entry of a complete stranger suffering the same condition that I had, I had tears trickling down my cheeks and found myself saying no no nooo, no, you are wonderful, you are special, and you are so loved, to my computer screen showing the journal entry. I judged myself so harsh, so bitterly. I had so much compassion for a complete stranger, but almost none for myself. Why? I believe it is because we create a story of how our life should and will turn out, when we veer off that path, it is easy to feel guilt and shame. This week-end showed me others in that same state of mind, and how vital it is to share this perspective in order for others to heal and regain their strength, to point out that we are unjustly our harshest critics, when we should indeed be our most loving supporters.

Image: Bryce Thomas

Image: Bryce Thomas

By grabbing a journal and writing out how I felt, I had a sudden transition from shame, anger, and embarrassment to complete understanding. Something came over me (or through me) and showed me a different perspective of myself and the situation. It came from a heartspace so deep, I'm still mind blown from the experience. Since that moment, I've learnt to switch my perspective, to think of myself as I would my best friend. I have learnt to wake up thanking my body for its strength, thanking my home that I put energy into, and generally having more patience and gratitude for the positive aspects of life, with less fear and unease for the dark aspects. After all, light cannot exist without darkness, and darkness without light.

I have learnt that the love frequency can heal anything, and through meditation (very new to me) I am learning the power of this. If I was told about this concept even a year ago I would have disregarded it, thinking that only the physical matters in order to heal. Now through experience I believe in the love frequency, the power of the mind, joined by the power of both the body and spirit with all of my being. Next time you feel anger, hurt, or ashamed about yourself, imagine the same situation was happening to your best friend, or the most loved person you know, how would you respond to the situation if it were them in your shoes? Send yourself the love, compassion, understanding and encouragement you would to those that you love. We are all doing the best that we can, based on our context, and our own life knowledge. Every lived experience gives us the strongest form of understanding we can ever know, not knowledge simply read or heard, but FELT and experienced.

There are no such things as mistakes, there are just mis-takes, a situation where you act based on the knowledge you had at that moment in time, the more you experience life through lessons, the more data you collect, creating more knowledge-based 'takes' in life. All experiences pave our path in this life, not the one you believe you will follow but the one you ARE following!

We all envision the life we want and plan to live, but who knows what is around the corner? When something happens that we didn't plan for, it helps us break free of who we think we are, what we think our life should be like, and let go to flow more with how life IS, and its mysteries. We create less resistance, open ourselves up to the ride, of the highs, lows, and general magic of life, without limiting restrictions created by our own thoughts of who we should be, and how we should live. 


- S xx